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23 - Collared Spy
Vincent blinked. He was looking at the floor. How did he get here?
You got socked in the gut, stupid.
Right. Assess the situation and- Something hit him in the back of the head. The floor in front of him swayed.
"Stand up, you useless moron."
Vincent slowly stood up. His vision was slowly recalibrating. He felt something pointy touch his neck.
"Give me one good reason not to kill you."
"Because the momeraths outgrabe?"
That was enough of a distraction. Vincent ducked and rolled behind his attacker, suddenly realizing that he was looking at Magnolia's ass.
MOVE! Don't get distracted by that hot ass!
Vincent reached for the knife in Magnolia's boot, right as her other foot swung past his head. He didn't have much time before she'd actually kill him.
"You know, Magnolia, you probably shouldn't have trained me so well if you intended to kill me."
She said nothing, swinging something Vincent didn't see at his neck. Probably a knife he didn't see her require.
"No, really. I know you can do better than that. Either you're just fucking with me, or there's a part of you that knows I've got a good reason for being alive."
Magnolia swung again, aiming for that one vein on his leg that he could never remember the name of.
Yeah, that was it.
"Seriously? I thought my crotch was the one part of me you wanted to keep intact."
There was no way he could gain the upper hand against her. He just had to stall until one of them got tired, or someone else wandered in. Was there another option?
Outsmart her, perhaps?
"Of course, I could argue my point better if I knew why you're trying to kill me."
"You're spying on me!" She swung at his stomach again.
"Yes. Yes I am."
Magnolia stopped, dismissed the knife she had required and slammed Vincent against the wall.
"Because after the incident the other day where you and the magpies attacked me and Agent Mimosa, it was decided that you should be monitored in case of recurrent behavior."
Magnolia growled. It was much cuter than one of Taylor's growls.
"I volunteered to watch you because I like staring at your ass."
Magnolia glared, but it was that glare that always made Vincent wonder if she was giggling internally or preparing to turn him inside out. Or both.
"I don't like being monitored without my permission."
"I deduced that. I'll return the equipment to Jones, then, and resign from the assignment."
"Just return the equipment. I understand if Ryan thinks I need to be monitored, and I'm a little glad you volunteered. You're just strange enough that I had to find out what you were thinking before I killed you. That, and I've never seen you do anything that couldn't be described as 'loyal.'"
"I'm flattered. And still terrified of you."
"Good. Now, you're going to be my personal assistant for as long as you're assigned to monitor me."
"I'm fine with that. Just as long as I don't need to wear a collar that says 'Magnolia's bitch.'"
Magnolia smirked, and required a collar.
"Oh, shut up, stupid. I was only joking."
"I didn't think that was possible."
"Maybe your stupid humour is rubbing off on me."