12 - The Penguin Man

I finded you, didn't I, little box? You thoughted you could hide under all of the newspapers that I putted onnatop of you, but I finded you anyway. You're, umma, a good little box, even iffin you're sometimes a bad little box. I like you, little box.

Umma...

Oh, yuppersyuppers, the peguin man came today, an' his belly was still all cold an' blue an' stuff. He's, umma, a very very serious penguin, which is sad cause peguins are supposed to be happy an' sitting on eggs an' things. I asked Hummer iffin he needed a egg to sit on, iffin that would make him a happy penguin man, but Hummer said noooooes, it wouldn't, that he was't the kind of penguin that could be helped by a egg.

An' I dun like it when the penguin man comes, cause I haveta stay in the garage, umma, Imma in here most of the time, but sometimes it gets scary when I think itsa scary, sos I have to leave, but iffin the peguin man is here, I can't, I haveta stay all quiet and stuffs, like a good little deadie girl.

I dun mind though, cause Hummer buys me a treat iffin Imma a good, quiet, little deadie girl, an' I try to be, sometimes Imma so quiet that I haveta go IMMA BEIN' QUIET just to reminds people that Imma here, and still being a good, quiet little deadie girl.

Sos, when the penguin man gotted here, Hummer lifted up and carried me to the garage, just cause deadie girl walk is too slow when you gots someone at the door, waiting to be let in for tea and cookies and whatever else penguins like. Fishies, I think.

We had some fishies that I tried to get ready for him last time he came, but that was...bad. A-pap-a-rent-lee you aren't supposedta feed the goldie fishies to peoples who come to the house, even iffin they'rea penguins.

Sos I had to be all quiets, so I played with the pegs for a while, which is a quiet game, like a counting game, which is goodly, ascept when you forgot which ones are your fingers and which ones are the pegs, an' then you tries you pick your fingers with other fingers an' try and put your hand in a bag an' then it just gets more bad whe you can't figure out how to get your hand loose, cause itsa all losty in shadow, and shadow is hard to find your way out of.

An' I could hear the penguin man talking to Hummer through the door, even iffin I could only see him a little bit through the air vent, an' thatsa only when I was lying on my tummy the right way up, cause iffin I was up the wrong way alls I could see was the roof, an' the spiders that live there.

They were having grown up talk, which is boring, an' Hummer's less fun when the penguin man is around, cause he acts like a grown-up, an' Hummer isn't goodly at being a grown-up. An' then they talked about Tegsy, which was, umma, less boring, but still mostly boring, cause, umma, I dun understand a lot of what they were talking about. Tegsy's school stuffs, I think.

An' the penguin man keeps asking iffin Tegsy needs anything, like he's gonna buy it for her or something, iffin she needs this, iffin she needs that, an' sometimes asking iffin she's got special powers...like a stuperhero. I shook my head at the air vent, cause Hummer's the only superduper people around here. Unlessen bein' a deadie girl counts, or iffin blowing yourself up and only going "SWEAR WORD" before going back to blow yourself up again like Asy counts, he's the oooonly supered person here.

An' then the penguin man disappeareded, just like a blink, just like that, he dun even use the door to say goodbyes.

An' thatsa kinda rude.